Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Thoughts on Independence Day

It’s been exactly two and a half months since I took early retirement. One of the major intended goals of this action was ‘freedom’. I guess it’s appropriate to reflect on the score on India’s Independence Day.

Yes, I have loads of freedom to do whatever I want throughout the day. But after two and a half months of this freedom I’m not too sure whether it’s really worth it. More often than not, there’s a feeling of emptiness or boredom – half the time I’m trying to figure what the hell to do next! Let me do a comparative study to put this whole thing in perspective :

Dream

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
-- William Henry Davies

Reality

1) Yes, I’m standing and staring, watching the cows come home – it isn’t bad yet, but getting a trifle boring if truth be told. And it’s been only two and a half months.
2) I get a feeling sometimes as if I’m a ship which is adrift after losing propulsion. Theoretically, there should be nothing life –threatening about such a situation as long as the ship uses its anchor. But where is my anchor?

So the bottomline is this -- I’m still searching for my ‘anchor’. But I’m not giving up on my dream yet.

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